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Hangover Food Horoscope

7/16/2015

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It's Sunday morning. You wake up in last nights clothes with a pounding headache and a thirst like you have never tasted water in your life. You crawl out of bed, which might as well be a grave because you feel like you are coming back from the dead, and make your way to the kitchen in search of your Brita pitcher. After gulping down a glass of water or five, your one-track mind finds something else to fixate on: food. You sit down on the couch with your laptop and open up Mr. Delivery, because let's be real: who want's to cook with a hangover? You survey your options, and what you choose is most likely indicative of decisions you made the night before and decisions you will make in the future. 

Breakfast Food

You are all about classics and tradition. It is morning, so why not drown your hangover in some bacon and eggs? You were probably drinking your go-to last night, something like beer or cider. The night before was fun, but not particularly wild or crazy. If you live in the Urbana-Champaign area, you are likely going to order from somewhere like Urbana Garden or Taffies. After your delivery arrives and you feast, you can expect a long day of lounging, watching TV or playing N-64. 
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Pasta

You probably had an intense wine night last night, so why break the cultural streak? You are a classy individual who enjoys the finer things in life, and even though you are not currently at your best you bring a disheveled sort of style to being hungover. Say you live in St. Louis, you'll probably order from Maggiano's. After your cure arrives and is ingested, you will probably read a book and eventually take a nap. 
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Mexican

If you didn't have tacos with your tequila last night, or if you are still craving some regardless, Mexican is the way to go. Who has ever said, "I really wish I didn't eat that burrito"? (Don't answer that, I don't want to know). You are a really fun person and are always the life of the party. If you are a native of Denver you are probably going to order from La Sandia or 3 Margaritas. After Mr. Delivery arrives and you nom on some dang quesadillas, you will probably spend the day just hanging out with your friends and reminiscing about last night's shenanigans. 
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Smoothie/Salad

You are probably a health-nut or are really active. Either way, this is the same idea as the vegetables of a Bloody Mary settling the stomach, minus the fun of drinking a Bloody Mary. You were probably drinking cocktails last night or were simply taking shots; anything to get the job done quickly. You are a busy-body and are a highly energetic person, and if you are living in Ann Arbor or Ypsilanti, Tropical Smoothie Cafe is your go-to here. After your food arrives you will probably go for a run or play some kind of sport with your friends to sweat out the rest of your hangover after nourishing yourself. 
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Pizza/Wings

You are still drunk. 
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